i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
