Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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