I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
