your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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