She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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