He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
