I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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