do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
