I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
