i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
