Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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