i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
