she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
