hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
