You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
