It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
