is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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