Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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