After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You did what with his pubic hair?
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