So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize