I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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