So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
my liver is dry heaving
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
