I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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