O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
