Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
