i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
