I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
