Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
