its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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