My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
