I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
