it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I AM VODKA MAN
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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