I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Damn victory sex feels great
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
