I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize