is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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