**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
