Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
