I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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