How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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