Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
