If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize