I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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