My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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