That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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