Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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