i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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