i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
