Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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