3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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