wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize