Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
