its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
