my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
