we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I just put wine in my tea
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
