I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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