Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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