You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
