i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They took my balls.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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