I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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