i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
